Outfit Details
Sweater- My Grandpa's Sweater
Blouse-F21 Thrifted Savers
Belt- H&M
Pants- H&M Belongs to a suit
Heels- BCBG Thrifted Savers
Well, I really didn't want to talk about my grandpa but that is ALL I can think about right now...I thought I had it together..I thought I was focused and ok...and then I left the hospital last night after struggling to pull my hand away from a man who is suffering with a kung fu grip...I am not sure what to do...I sat in my car in the parking lot of the hospital and just cried...I know..I am by no means writing this for any sort of sympathy...we get old...we die...it's life...but to suffer, to be removed from what you have always known...to have lost freedom and independence...my papa had a stroke over a year and a half ago and should have passed away...but instead...he fought....he fought so hard the docs were pretty convinced we had been making up all the nonsense of him having short and long term memory still in tact...he spoke English and French and still remains in a positive spirit...he continues to baffle the medical professionals that are confronted with his case....and then I realized why...WE were the ones feeding him...with HOPE...with HAPPINESS....sometimes I just go and sit with him...and then he wakes up and sees me...and then closes his eyes...he knows we are there...My dad, my sister and my husband and I have spent countless hours going back and forth...and we will continue to do so...I just know he is tired...and I am too... I often take out my notebook and write down thoughts...these were a few I wrote down last night..
I am going to use this body and mind until I can no longer...NO EXCUSES...I am going to PUSH through pain and laziness....I will NEVER doubt my capabilities...and will always make sure to take care of myself...I will ALWAYS say I love you to all my friends and family EVERY TIME I see them...I may spread myself thin...but I don't want to waste another minute being unhappy or thinking of what I can not change. If I get overwhelmed I will close my eyes and simply tell myself that I can DO this...Being busy is AMAZING....busy with things I love... I can create a body I admire, a mind that is always thinking, and a heart that is always fulfilled...I will repeat this ANYTIME I have doubts...I LOVE my papa and I know everything is going to be ok...and I thank all of you for making my day just a little brighter...fashion, music, fitness, these are ways I communicate...and I thank you for sharing it with me!!! Love you guys!
love your hair and the blouse! :)
ReplyDeleteI love those heels and pants :)
ReplyDeleteThat was a very touching and encouraging post. Before I read it and just looked at your outfit I was thinking about how comfie your sweater looked. Then after reading it, I realized just HOW comfortable that sweater must make you feel. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteSherry (a lurker!)
Holy crap! That cardigan is ADORABLE!!! Total steal.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Remy
www.mydailythreads.blogspot.com
Love this outfit! And the shoes.... ;)
ReplyDeleteI love your grandpa's cardigan! Dude's got style. I learned from my mother's illness and then death that the people we love hold on for a reason and when they no longer can, when they believe that we'll be fine should they let go - they let go.
ReplyDeleteLove from Jo'burg
Shana Im so glad that youre able to share how you feel here. Its interesting that in your moments of sadness you still are encouraging. Thank you for being so transparent :) I am praying for your Grandpa.
ReplyDeleteSo touching, Shana.. you'll be OK, and so will be your papa. It's the power of hope and love- the most amazing things around us! Breaking down is a human thing, and when we stand back up, we're stronger, taller, and wiser... so I know everything will be OK, and you look fabulous, by the way! You already have what no money no exercise can get- a beautiful heart :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
skinnymoonstick.blogspot.com
Love this look Shana!
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I think I am going to have to fly there to visit this Thrift Savers! lol
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