#NeverSettle

I'm scared I am going to FAIL

I'm scared I am going to let my husband down
I'm scared I will let my coach down
I'm scared I will let myself down
I'm scared I won't look like everyone else
I'm scared that I will cheat
I'm scared I will get sick
I'm scared someone in my family will get sick
I'm scared I will embarrass myself
I'm scared I won't be able to handle it
I'm scared that my body is just not the RIGHT type of body to do this
I'm scared I won't be able to stay on track
I'm scared I will be told that I am just not good enough
I'm scared no matter what I do I will NEVER get to the finish line

I'm SCARED. 

But I am going to DO IT anyway. and THAT...gives me courage....because I know that I was scared the first time...and I was scared the second time...and each time I did it...I made it a little closer to the dream I have...

This photo was taken of me by David Miller! I am a dancer in the dance company Magical Madness Dance Theater you can follow our company on Facebook!
{photography by David Miller}

I ENJOY the ride...the journey to getting to that point where you know you put your whole heart...your whole effort into something..Some will never feel that feeling...and I can't imagine a life without THAT feeling...you know what I am talking about...the struggle...the support...the rush you get when you overcome a hurdle...whether in the gym...or mentally...I LOVE this lifestyle...THIS lifestyle has enabled me to do all of the other things in my life I dream to do...DANCE..MODEL...ACT...INSPIRE...I was once the girl who actually thought...I AM TOO OLD to go after my dreams...I might as well just GIVE UP on them...TOO OLD to start dancing again..TOO OLD to model again..TOO OLD to become an Actress...Can you imagine if I ACTUALLY BELIEVED myself? I am glad I told myself to take a hike 3 years ago...

I know that this is vague...but honestly it really doesn't matter what it is...WE ALL have this feeling whether it be for competing in a competition, creating a company...becoming WHO you WANT TO BE...We can all relate...I must say the above at least 5 times a day in my head...but then I quickly respond with the below...

My mom went after her dreams all the way up to when you passed away...SHE told me " I did EVERYTHING I ever wanted and went after all of my dreams" "the only regret I have is not being able to watch you go after yours"

I HAVE POUNDED that into my head EVERY SINGLE DAY. She may not be here in person...but she is in my heart! I am so excited about these next 12 weeks. I have a lot of dreams to get to...and I just wanted to take this time to REMIND all of you that it is NEVER too late...DON'T LISTEN to anyone...SERIOUSLY...Say thank you for the advice and RUN!

I have joined a new team here in Vegas where I will be training for my next competition..more importantly it is about the journey I will be on and I will take you guys with me!!!

I also entered a contest with 1stPhorm!!! I can't believe I did it...but I just knew in my heart that these guys were a perfect fit...something in my heart just said YES...THESE ARE YOUR PEOPLE haha Much like Darth Vader would say haha If you don't know about 1stPhorm you must check them out!!! I will be sharing much more about these guys in upcoming blog posts but until then HERE is a link to their site!!

I will be sharing my journey through a new series on my Youtube Channel below! You can also follow me along on my Instagram @colorblindblog or on my Facebook page Colorblindblog. MORE to come...I just started typing away and it felt good...haha hope I can help any of you...please don't hesitate to email me if you have any questions or suggestions for more blog posts or videos!!!

Here is my latest VLOG in my new series! Love you guys and thank you for letting me rant for a bit I am feeling all sorts of feelings!!! haha xoxo