5 Years

Today marks 5 years since I lost my best friend...it came all too quickly..yet not fast enough....these past few months have been a world wind of emotion...and it seems all too fitting that today is the day I lost her. This past weekend I set a goal and I went for it...something I haven't done since my mother passed. See she was the one that always kept me focused...kept me motivated...and when I lost her something inside of me disappeared...This journey has been so much more than just working out.. but getting healthy...and really LIVING life. Though days are often better than others and let's be honest...that turkey sandwich on wheat with approximately 5 oreos and a glass of wine...was pretty darn good...the sacrifice and compromise was nothing in comparison to that of her struggle to fight for her life...My mom was the HEALTHIEST unhealthy person on the planet...a clean eater since birth...my mother created a wellness program for those who wanted to get fit for life...she had her PhD and educated many on the benefits of holistic living...unfortunately she grew up in a time where treating an illness was not fitting and her valves in her heart soon deteriorated after suffering from Rheumatic fever..told by many doctors she could not have children...she spent years taking care of herself..filling her body with natural foods and staying active..10 years later...she had me....and when they told her that she shouldn't have another child...she had my sister....and when they told her she wouldn't live longer than 10 years...she lived 20....I never saw the fight or the struggle..or the sacrifice she made until she was no longer here...that's life right...maybe that's why I get more motivated when someone tells me I can't or shouldn't...

That's ME! 

Today, five years ago I got a call from Stanford telling me that my mom went into cardiac arrest after a MAJOR surgery to repair her valves...something the doctors told her not to do...but she did...all for us...I can't express how much I miss her in words...so I will continue to FIGHT...and SACRIFICE...to LIVE everyday...and GO for EVERYTHING I want...the morning she passed almost 20 gallons of water flooded the ICU...It RAINED today five years ago..when it should have been sunny...some say the water was a way of connecting her to us...our family holds this to be a connection to her...that is why this picture meant so much to me...the words...the water...Sorry if I am not making any sense...I am always at a loss...my family my friends always come to our side during this time..and I am so blessed to have them...I'm sad...but I'm ok. I will play my music a little louder today....I will smile a little bit more today...I will share stories of her life...and more importantly....I will keep on this journey to get in shape... because sometimes even the healthiest..and strongest...end up leaving us...but at least then..you are LIVING. Love you guys! and thank you for being my long distance friends...now if we can figure a way to get all of you guys here to Vegas and Thrift the heck out of this place!